Hahaha guys so remember how I was like super pumped to try and wear mori style fashion
like i still am
but now that my stuff's been arriving i only feel comfortable wearing like 20% of what's come so far because gender dysphoria or just generally 'this piece of clothing is too out-there for me to wear i'll draw too much attention'
and when i wear it i feel more self-conscious and prone to anxiety than usual
yesterday a shirt arrived that had a longish lace hem and it could almost have been a dress and i put it on and then mother saw me and she was like 'OHHH PRETTY!!! AWW THAT'S REALLY CUTE!!!"
me: steamrolled by dysphoria, and my anxiety just skyrocketed until i took it off D|
and like it's been so hard to get her to even remotely recognize my identity (she still calls me a woman) and i feel like she was so happy that i was wearing something girly again like she's totally thinking OH SHE'S GONNA STOP THIS TRANS NONSENSE I KNEW IT WAS A PHASE THANK GOODNESS
really shitty :c -wears boy clothes forever-